Is Spanking Our Kids Effective or Abusive?
Let me first define what spanking is:
Were you spanked during your childhood? If you were, are you a better person now? If you are a parent, do you use spanking as a form of punishment to get through to your children?
I am a mother and I would never want to hurt my kids in any way as much as possible but there are occasions that I have to establish authority and implement discipline. My husband and I set some house rules that must be strictly observed. Our children are well aware of those regulations and they know the consequences if ever they misbehave.
At my age, I still have to face the challenge of raising a toddler along with his two other teenage siblings... three diversified characters with individual personalities in today's generation. Dealing with the former is quite harder than the two latter (when they were his age) especially his tantrums and seemingly endless cries... slapping my kids' bottom is my last resort. I must admit, it pains me to do it but it hurts me even more if they do the same unacceptable behavior over and over again.
Punishment must be painful to be effective. It becomes abusive if it's done without warning and executed to humiliate a child in front of many.
I have no intention of promoting or discouraging any parent to spank or whoop or smack (as the term implies) their children to correct them. The truth is, I wish to free myself from guilt for using such punishment so I've checked out some articles regarding its advantages and disadvantages.
According to researches and studies, spanking is a much-debated topic. Most child psychologists do not recommend spanking as a discipline method for children. However, other psychologists and many parents will tell you that a spanking given with fairness, love and care is an effective discipline technique. The decision as to the usefulness of spanking is best made by a child's parents.
The bottom line is...
From my own point of view:
- A single or a number of slaps in a child's bottom using an open hand as means of punishment for a misbehavior. It may involve the use of any implement like rod or belt instead of a hand.
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| Spanking is as old as our forefathers (photo link) |
Were you spanked during your childhood? If you were, are you a better person now? If you are a parent, do you use spanking as a form of punishment to get through to your children?
I am a mother and I would never want to hurt my kids in any way as much as possible but there are occasions that I have to establish authority and implement discipline. My husband and I set some house rules that must be strictly observed. Our children are well aware of those regulations and they know the consequences if ever they misbehave.
At my age, I still have to face the challenge of raising a toddler along with his two other teenage siblings... three diversified characters with individual personalities in today's generation. Dealing with the former is quite harder than the two latter (when they were his age) especially his tantrums and seemingly endless cries... slapping my kids' bottom is my last resort. I must admit, it pains me to do it but it hurts me even more if they do the same unacceptable behavior over and over again.
Punishment must be painful to be effective. It becomes abusive if it's done without warning and executed to humiliate a child in front of many.
I have no intention of promoting or discouraging any parent to spank or whoop or smack (as the term implies) their children to correct them. The truth is, I wish to free myself from guilt for using such punishment so I've checked out some articles regarding its advantages and disadvantages.
According to researches and studies, spanking is a much-debated topic. Most child psychologists do not recommend spanking as a discipline method for children. However, other psychologists and many parents will tell you that a spanking given with fairness, love and care is an effective discipline technique. The decision as to the usefulness of spanking is best made by a child's parents.
The bottom line is...
Every parent must use his own sense of right and wrong when making parenting decisions. A parent can look to others for advice, but in the end, he must make his own choices based on what is right for his children. -by PAUL PRESTON
From my own point of view:
A physical pain felt by a child from a mother's hand will never hurt him or her if done in good faith. It will only leave a temporary pain but will yield a lasting mark of a parent's love.
I agree... pain is a good teacher but should not be used excessively. I believe we should explain to our children what they have done wrong and why we need to do it afterwards. I always tell them, that I did it to let them know what's right or wrong...
ReplyDeleteI think spanking is still a good thing if you want to discipline your child, as long as physical punishment is not excessive.
ReplyDelete- Wanderer Juan
For the parents, yes spanking can be an effective method as I've been there since I was a kiddo. Since then, I've learned and behaved myself properly. But I can't spank my nieces and nephews. A warning is already enough for the children to behave but of course, I love them all! :D
ReplyDeleteI think spanking should be done on extreme basis like when the fault is really big but more often it should be better to just reprimand. It's still good that kids still know their limitations.
ReplyDeletei've been spanked by my mom when i was a child but i don't love her less because of that.. in fact i am thankful for her way of disciplining me and my siblings, because of that i can proudly say that i've been brought up well by my parents. But of course, there's a fine line between discipline and abuse :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with your insight on child discipline. Although I'm still far from being a dad, I essentially believe that it's always better to train a child the way he should go. No manipulations and whatnot. :)
ReplyDeleteEven the bioble teaches us to subject our kids to spanking. Pero 2 things to consider: first, not excessive and secondly when the kid is in his teen years na.
ReplyDeleteI think spanking is reasonable as long is it doesn't cause trauma to the child.
ReplyDeleteI was raised up at a time that spanking was part of discipline. I am raising my younger kids now in an entirely different scenario where spanking is not advised. For me personally, a middle-ground is the best option.
ReplyDeletespanking still good way of disciplining but their should be limitations..
ReplyDeleteI grew up with spanking only because I am too stubborn so my mother has to use her hand power with the help of belt or a piace of wood. My siblings were disciplined differently without spanking. My point is, parents should discipline the kids according to their behavior. As a mother, I let hubby do the spanking. Tess
ReplyDeleteMy dad used to spank me too when I was a kid. With his hands, a slipper and even his belt. Its his way of disciplining me...
ReplyDeleteI believe when you said "It becomes abusive if it's done without warning and executed to humiliate a child in front of many." Me as a mother I admit that I did this to my daughter already. Though in her 5 years of existence in this world I just did it to her like 2 or 3 times. She's very well behave. and whenever she done something bad she always go to her room and cant watch anything or cant do something she wanted. Or I don't talk to her until she go infront of me and say sorry mom and that's time I will explain to her what she has done wrong. Spanking doesnt make me feel good at all. Its hard for parents but we need those very long patience.
ReplyDeleteMy husband usually fight on this. He usually spank our kids though not really hard but I always disagree because for me its not good. We are still on the process of learning parenting..
ReplyDeleteSomething one of my favorite comedians - Eddie Griffin - always talks about - "There's something about pain that tells you what not to do." A lot of parents today try to deviate from a good old spanking, and that to me, will only help raise a lost generation of kids, unless they are properly disciplined and spanked.
ReplyDeleteSpanking is not right. Just refuse to give them money. :D
ReplyDeleteVery thankful that I did not experience this kind of abusive way/punishment when I was young, instead they just talk to me and they let me explain to them my mistakes. My parents love me so much. hehe
ReplyDeleteI think spanking is okay as long as there is a limit to it and only be used when they do extreme wrongdoings..
ReplyDeleteMy parents never have used any form of violence to us, but made sure that we understood the consequences of our actions.
ReplyDeleteMy mom never spanked me, but it was my dad who disciplined me hard. I never thought of it as a form of violence though, since the spanking wasn't out of line naman, and they started to just talk to me and discuss it if I made mistakes when I reached 8 years old.
ReplyDelete